soooo we both peed the bed last night...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
