You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
