i just wanna soil my oats bro
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
