Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
