The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
