Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
