apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
