Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
