k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
