his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
