I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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