I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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