we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I licked your asshole in confidence.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
