I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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