Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
FUCK WHALES
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
