He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
