Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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