are you so shy because you have an std?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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