dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
