I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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