WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
