she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
