you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you had me at cake vodka
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
