Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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