Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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