cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
