so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
