you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
