That's intense
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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