They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
