My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i think i have herpe
just one?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize
