He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
