Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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