so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
