I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
