If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
And then he peed in my hair
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