I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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