Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
