I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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