So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i think my cat just said my name.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
