You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
