White coat. Heels.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
