I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
