Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Someone shattered a urinal.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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