so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
