I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
