I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
