just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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