So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
