Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
