P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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