How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It's Friday. Sex?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
whose parrot is this?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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